Divorce really is hardest on the kids.
Sit Down with Your Spouse First
It is always best if you and your spouse can sit down with the kids together. This will present a united front and show them that you made the decision to divorce together. It is not just about one person leaving the other. Before you sit down with the kids, sit down with each other first. Plan what you are going to say and how you will answer their questions.
Do Not Blame Your Spouse
Depending on the age and maturity of the child, you may want to tell them why you are getting a divorce. You may also simply want to say that you are not in love anymore, or that you are unhappy. Whatever you choose to tell the kids, make sure you keep it age-appropriate. Also do not blame your spouse for the split or try to fault them for the breakdown of the marriage.
Tell Your Child it is Not Their Fault
It is not uncommon for children to blame themselves when their parents get a divorce. They may think that if they had behaved better, you two would have stayed together. Tell your children that this was a decision you made with your spouse, and that nothing that they have done or said influenced this decision. Reinforce that idea throughout the conversation and give them words of affirmation to make sure that they know they are loved by both parents, even though you have decided to split ways.
Reassure Your Child
To your child, it may seem as though a divorce means the entire family unit is breaking down. Reassure them that this is not the case. Tell your child that although you and your spouse will no longer be married, you are still a family. Reassure your child that you and your spouse will still continue to co-parent, and that your child will continue seeing both you and your spouse regularly.
Admit When You Do Not Know
Your child will ask questions you do not know the answer to. Many of these will likely revolve around child custody arrangements and how that will play out. Children will wonder where they will go to school, and if they will still see their friends. You may not know all the answers to these questions yet. That is okay. Tell your children that you do not know all the details, but that you will tell them as soon as you do know. Also make sure you tell your children that no matter what, you and your spouse love them very much.
Our Family Lawyers in South Carolina Can Advise on All Aspects of Your Case
Going through a divorce is never easy. You will have many questions, as well as your children. If you’re asking how to tell my kids I’m getting a divorce, we can help. At The Peck Law Firm, our South Carolina family lawyers can provide valuable advice on all aspects of your case, and help the case proceed as quickly and smoothly as possible. Call us today at 843-631-7117 or reach out to us online to schedule a consultation and to obtain the sound legal advice you need.