You and your spouse are divorcing. During this time, you will feel many things: uncertainty, anger, and fear.
How can you make sure you get what you deserve?
Will your spouse take advantage of you during the divorce?
Many divorcees believe they need an aggressive divorce lawyer to make sure they get what they want and deserve from their divorce. Aggressive lawyers seem like they will fight harder and stand their ground with unwavering confidence compared to other lawyers.
But is aggression really the best approach when it comes to divorce?
Confidence and assertiveness are important traits for your divorce lawyer to have, but extreme aggression can backfire. It’s important for your lawyer to balance their confidence with experience and a willingness to compromise. This balanced approach often yields the best results.
Aggression vs. Experience: What’s More Important?
An aggressive lawyer might promise to fight tooth and nail for you. But remember, the goal is not just to win at any cost. It’s about securing a fair and reasonable outcome for both parties.
An aggressive lawyer can often escalate conflicts, making your divorce messier, costlier, and more drawn-out than necessary. Plus, heightened tension can damage your future relationship with your ex-spouse, making co-parenting a nightmare.
A good lawyer will help you recognize that you are not right about everything, and neither is your spouse. Instead, there is room for compromise and looking for win-win solutions.
Here’s a simple comparison of the potential impact of aggressive vs. balanced approaches:
| Approach | Benefits | Negative Impacts |
| Aggressive | · Confident stance · May intimidate the other side | · Higher costs · Escalated conflict · Damaged relationships |
| Balanced | · Experience-driven · Focused on compromise · Fosters cooperation and mutual benefit | · May require more patience, but often leads to better long-term outcomes |
More Aggressive Representation Might Be Necessary in Some Cases
Of course, in some situations, a more aggressive approach might be needed. If your spouse has already hired an aggressive lawyer, you might need someone who can match that intensity.
Furthermore, cases involving abuse or false allegations may also warrant a more forceful strategy. But these scenarios are exceptions, not the rule.
Why Aggression Often Backfires
Judges and opposing attorneys don’t always respond well to aggressive tactics. They can view it as unnecessary posturing that complicates the case. Aggressive behavior can make negotiations more difficult and cause further strain on an already tense situation.
Furthermore, aggression can alienate your spouse causing them to fight harder and withhold cooperation more than if you tried to approach the divorce seeking a fair outcome.
I know you’re hurting, but in my 25 years of experience, I’ve seen that revenge through aggression usually doesn’t give the results you want. It might feel satisfying momentarily to intimidate your spouse through legal aggression, but it often leads to more harm than good in the long run. Your ultimate goal is to find a better life after your divorce with your dignity intact and a fair settlement in hand.
Our Experienced, Confident Charleston Divorce Lawyers Are Here to Help You.
Hiring the right divorce lawyer is an important decision. There are many things for you to consider such as the lawyer’s track record, experience, and perspective.
A good lawyer is someone who understands the law but is also willing act as your counselor with your best interests in mind. They will base their advice on their experience and analysis of your unique situation. They will help you identify areas where compromise is possible, so you can focus on the things that matter most to in your divorce. They will not seek to increase conflict or spur hostility.
Our team has over 25 years of experience and our firm has been voted the BEST in Charleston 7 years in a row. We’re ready to put that experience to work for you.
We will cater our approach to your particular situation. We know your goal is not to hurt your spouse or take away things they want, but to create a better future for you and your family. Call our office today for a free consultation at 843-631-7117.