Should I Stay in a Marriage for the Children?

Nearly half of parents stay together because of their kids.

Is this a choice that you are currently making?

While you might think that staying married to your spouse is ultimately what is in the best interests of your children, you might be surprised to learn that researchers often suggest the opposite.

Many mental health counselors and therapists indicate that, in the long run, making the decision to get divorced can be healthier and happier for your children. What do you need to know?

Do Not Focus on the Short-Term Outcome

If you are unhappy in your marriage but are remaining in the relationship because you are thinking about how it will affect your kids in the short-term, it is important to think more about long-term outcomes. In the shorter term, a divorce can have a negative impact on kids. Their routines can be disrupted, they may need to change residences and schools, and they may have fears about the family relationship or dynamic. Yet over time, parents can take steps to mitigate these harmful effects, and divorce ultimately may be better for your children in the long run.

Consider How Remaining Married Can Model Unhealthy Behavior for Your Kids

Remaining in an unhappy marriage can model unhealthy behavior for your children, according to an article in Psychology Today. To be sure, if you are constantly fighting with your spouse or engaged in anxiety-inducing encounters, your kids can come to learn that such behavior is normalized and may ultimately replicate it themselves.

Your Kids Can Have Stability After a Divorce

You should know that your children can absolutely have stability after a divorce. It will all depend upon your ability to co-parent with your ex and to demonstrate for your kids that their family relationships have not changed, and that they can lead happy lives despite going through changes related to the divorce.

Think About Whether You Are Creating Excuses to Avoid Conflict

Finally, in some circumstances, spouses decide to stay in an unhappy marriage allegedly for the benefit of their children, but this may just be a reason that you have convinced yourself makes sense to you and your situation. Are you focusing on staying in your marriage for your kids as a way of avoiding the conflict of a divorce? Are you also thinking that it will be easier to maintain the status quo? You should think carefully about why you are truly remaining in an unhappy marriage, and you should reevaluate your circumstances after seeking advice from those who can help.

Should I Stay Married for the Kids? Contact Us with Questions about Divorce

If you have questions about filing for divorce, or if you need help going through a divorce with minor children from your marriage, a Charleston divorce attorney at our firm is here to help. Do not hesitate to get in touch with our firm to find out more about the services we provide to South Carolina residents who are getting divorced. Contact The Peck Law Firm for more information.

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