Most Hollywood romantic comedies end when a couple gets married. In the real world, two people go on to build a life. And this life is rarely the “happily ever after” of fairy tales.
If you’ve been married for a while, it’s perfectly normal to question the strength of your marriage. But how do you know whether your marriage is good enough or whether you should pull the plug and strike out on your own? Our Charleston, SC divorce attorney looks at some key considerations.
Are You Staying Together Only for the Kids?
If you are, then you are probably deeply unhappy in your marriage. Staying together for the kids is a definite concession that your marriage isn’t working for you. Break up is almost inevitable once the children are grown.
If this is you, consider whether staying together is really the best for your children. If there is domestic violence or terroristic threats, then leaving is probably the healthier option. You also shouldn’t assume that divorce will be easier once your children hit adulthood. In fact, they might be less able to adapt at that age.
Can You Work Through Disagreements?
Virtually all couples fight. The fact that you disagree with your spouse doesn’t mean your marriage isn’t good. You can still disagree—sometimes quite strongly—and still enjoy a healthy relationship.
Look at how you handle disagreements. For example, couples who disagree about money often try to compromise. They will deposit a certain amount of each other’s paychecks into a joint account. Then they keep some money to spend individually as they please. This way, they are accomplishing shared goals while also giving each other room for financial independence.
Some people can’t find a common ground and remain angry over certain issues. If you can’t compromise, then you might need to end a marriage.
Are Most of Your Needs Being Met?
Many people enter a marriage expecting emotional support, companionship, and sexual intimacy. Those are realistic expectations. If your spouse can’t meet them, it might be time to move on.
Of course, your spouse can’t provide everything—and you shouldn’t expect that. For example, you should seek friendship with other people who can provide emotional support. If you need counseling or mental health therapy, you should seek professional help. Your spouse can’t fulfill every role.
Are You Staying Married Out of Fear?
Fear of being alone is a big reason couples stay married when they otherwise would want to divorce. In particular, they fear being unable to find someone new. Although this fear is understandable, your marriage is not successful if you are staying solely out of fear. Some people thrive when single. Also, if you want to find a new partner, it’s easier as a single person because many people won’t help you cheat.
Are You Considering Divorce?
The Peck Law Firm has helped many people in Charleston, South Carolina divorce. If you have questions about divorce, we can answer them in a confidential consultation. Contact us today to get started.